My Little Blue Pill

I've been living in a bit of a fantasyland.  Seriously, the past couple months have been the best start to a year for as long as I can remember.  So much so that I just said to my hubby last week, "The shoe's gotta drop sooner or later."  Damn, I forgot to knock on wood.  This past week, a black cloud moved over my little world... my bubble that has been the perfect balance of family, fitness, work and friends. Nothing major or life-threatening, but drama that was enough to weigh heavily on my heart.

You see, I give 110% in just about anything I do.  I don't like, don't know how, to do things halfway.  Do it right or don't do it at all.  That's kinda my mantra in life.  I believe in treating others as you wish to be treated.  I try my best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt even when popular opinion says otherwise.  I believe the good in people. I help people to the best of my ability. I sincerely want everyone to like me, thus I forgive too easily. While these may sound like good things, they also bring me hurt and pain.  Not everyone is happy to see me so... happy.  Whether it be in the fitness arena or in the workplace, there is a tricky balance in being a leader.  In order to inspire, you need to put yourself out there, to make yourself somewhat vulnerable.  And with that comes risk.  My mind turmoils today whether that risk is worth the rewards.  I easily get wrapped up in the momentum, and eventually need to step back and check myself.  Check my priorities in life.  Am I where I want to be?  The answer is usually a renewed focus on my marriage, children and my personal health... and let everything else fall into place after that.

Yesterday I ran... twice. In the morning with a jogging stroller, I pushed that weight up hills and relished in the pain.  In the evening, I busted out another 3 miles on the treadmill... the last half at an 8:20 pace (that's fast for me!).  Afterward I was completely dialed-in at Spin class.  I felt in tune with every song and pushed myself hard. There is something about a hard sweat that makes worries trickle away and perspective clear.
This is my therapy.

No matter what gets thrown my way in life, I will never again be that fat girl who ate a gallon of ice cream or got wasted with beer.  My drug of choice is endorphins, and I will forever be on the run in search of them.

This weekend, I'm escaping "home" to Wisconsin.  We have a nice family get-together planned to celebrate my Little Girl's birthday... and I run the Oshkosh Half Marathon on Sunday.  I've got tension and stress under my skin that is gonna explode at the starting line.  If weather cooperates, I'm going after that PR, or at least another sub-2.  If you'll be in Oshkosh, don't forget the bloggy meetup!

Are you racing this weekend?  Good Luck!

How do you deal with adversity in life?  Does it make you wanna run too?